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This is a running gag in the movie, this superhuman Frank Stallone business. so he somersaults off the balcony and lands on his feet. Tony/Frank spies some bosomy blonde he wants to dance with. Meanwhile, Frank Stallone waterskis while fishing, and later on, goes to a nightclub where Cindy Valentine performs (weirdly, she has a dude in spandex workout gear dancing behind her) to let off some steam. Soon, most of the women in town are dressing up like extras in an early 80's Motley Crue video and wandering around town seducing men for whatever reason.
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Along the way, there's the usual gang of idiots to contend with, including overambitious weatherman Clip Bacardi ( Bruce Pirrie), his girlfriend, librarian/mayoral candidate Maryann Dubrowski ( Elizabeth Edwards), and corrupt mayor Bodine ( John Hemphill, Goofballs), plus various assorted nuts. This rock makes all the women in town (Beamsville) warm-in-the-pants, and it's up to the bumbling, Barney Fife-esque deputy Drum ( Don Lake, go-to bald/mustachioed buffoon in a zillion films) and Tony, the cool-as-ice private dick who gets all the chicks, to figure this bullshit out. It woulda been nice if someone brought some lights to the shoot. The meteor has a strange effect on the kids' girlfriends: their eyes pulse with purple light and they become instatiably horny, tearing off their shirts and making sweet 80's love to their men. They find a giant glowing rock that purrs and emits cheesy Blue Oyster Cult lasers. A group of oddly 1950's-esque teenagers speed off to investigate.
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Meanwhile, a glowing pink meteor screams through the sky and crash-lands into some woods behind the movie screen.
While the movie rolls on, Frank, er.Tony Mareda, Jr.runs around the drive-in with a giant cartoony revolver shooting dudes. And that's like, the best Zombie Beach Party movie ever. Looking for someplace to hide until the heat is off, he pulls into a drive-in theater. Ever the professional, Frank manages to elude the gangsters while enjoying impromptu oral. The only part she hears is "Head, now!", so she dutifully sticks her face in his lap and gets to gobbling. "Get your head down, now!" Frank says to his startled guest. Suddenly, outta nowhere, a couple mobsters bear down on them, guns blazing. Sly's even more wooden brother Frank, dressed in a ridiculous cream-colored suit, sluices down the highway in a gleaming white Cadillac convertible (with steer horns on the grill), stopping to pick up a gum-snapping hitchhiker in hotpants ( Heather Smith). On the surface, things look pretty good, in a kitcshy sorta way, at the start of Pink Chiquitas. Man, you can sell the Canadians anything, can't you? " And," you can hear them add during the pitch-from-hell that got this film made, "It's also going to have original songs by Frank Stallone!" Starring Frank Stallone, Claudia Udy, John Hemphill